i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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