so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
