I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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