so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
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