so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Randomize
