Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Randomize
