You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
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He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
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On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
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