he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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