dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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