IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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