is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.