Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(732): View more from New Jersey

the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back

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(732): the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back http://tfl.nu/90ja

Replies (3) Good night (1918) Bad night (766)
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(416): View more from Ontario

I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?

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(416): I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL? http://tfl.nu/iaot

Replies (17) Good night (1817) Bad night (2740)
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(440): View more from Ohio

he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.

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(440): he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life. http://tfl.nu/ggva

Replies (14) Good night (8688) Bad night (1133)
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(612): View more from Minnesota

And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.

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(612): And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer. http://tfl.nu/cz4h

Replies (8) Good night (4554) Bad night (2152)
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(727): View more from Florida

Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew

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(727): Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew http://tfl.nu/e4qx

Replies (6) Good night (2535) Bad night (1097)
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(323): View more from California

Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me

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(323): Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me http://tfl.nu/3sp3

Replies (13) Good night (4526) Bad night (1814)
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(330): View more from Ohio

Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.

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(330): Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it. http://tfl.nu/tfef

Replies (19) Good night (1289) Bad night (2608)
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(816): View more from Missouri

I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.

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(816): I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong. http://tfl.nu/3jnj

Replies (4) Good night (622) Bad night (1256)
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(908): View more from New Jersey

P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.

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(908): P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed. http://tfl.nu/fp9c

Replies (6) Good night (1488) Bad night (537)
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(978): View more from Massachusetts

I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.

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(978): I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once. http://tfl.nu/s0yn

Replies (5) Good night (1460) Bad night (692)
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(307): View more from Wyoming

I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.

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(307): I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard. http://tfl.nu/j9hb

Replies (15) Good night (1157) Bad night (638)
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(907): View more from Alaska

I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!

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(907): I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st! http://tfl.nu/87p8

Replies (2) Good night (726) Bad night (408)
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(979): View more from Texas

Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.

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(979): Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo. http://tfl.nu/7yqz

Replies (1) Good night (609) Bad night (365)
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(252): View more from North Carolina

I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron

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(252): I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron http://tfl.nu/wcx2

Replies (4) Good night (823) Bad night (370)
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(573): View more from Missouri

You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!

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(573): You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall! http://tfl.nu/2nbi

Replies (6) Good night (297) Bad night (312)

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