Texts From Last Night

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  (703): View more from Virginia

  While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.

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  (703): While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens. http://tfl.nu/2i4o
  Replies (19) Good night (3329) Bad night (577)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.

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  (404): Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again. http://tfl.nu/0won
  Replies (20) Good night (2656) Bad night (1099)
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  (815): View more from Illinois

  we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now

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  (815): we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now http://tfl.nu/t0uo
  Replies (12) Good night (530) Bad night (6140)
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  (210): View more from Texas

  she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?

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  (210): she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know? http://tfl.nu/j2zq
  Replies (50) Good night (6954) Bad night (769)
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  (317): View more from Indiana

  My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!

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  (317): My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA! http://tfl.nu/e6nv
  Replies (28) Good night (1586) Bad night (3778)
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  (734): View more from Michigan

  Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum

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  (734): Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum http://tfl.nu/virf
  Replies (4) Good night (1821) Bad night (872)
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  (281): View more from Texas

  In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.

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  (281): In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight. http://tfl.nu/l97c
  Replies (7) Good night (2301) Bad night (1518)
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  (727): View more from Florida

  Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...

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  (727): Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo... http://tfl.nu/pcov
  Replies (13) Good night (2723) Bad night (893)
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  (585): View more from New York

  Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.

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  (585): Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably. http://tfl.nu/akzi
  Replies (6) Good night (2274) Bad night (641)
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  (347): View more from New York

  I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead

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  (347): I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead http://tfl.nu/i3pk
  Replies (7) Good night (1384) Bad night (614)
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  (801): View more from Utah

  Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"

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  (801): Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night" http://tfl.nu/sbyz
  Replies (7) Good night (1747) Bad night (521)
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  (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family

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  (780): Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family http://tfl.nu/lw7x
  Replies (1) Good night (1013) Bad night (290)
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  (501): View more from Arkansas

  I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.

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  (501): I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit. http://tfl.nu/ez6v
  Replies (0) Good night (817) Bad night (245)
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  (601): View more from Mississippi

  Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.

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  (601): Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life. http://tfl.nu/h9xw
  Replies (1) Good night (439) Bad night (223)
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  (310): View more from California

  You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.

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  (310): You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice. http://tfl.nu/o1c5
  Replies (0) Good night (157) Bad night (283)

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