my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Randomize
