I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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