He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
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