Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
