I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Randomize
