haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
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