You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Randomize
