Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize