The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Randomize
