Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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