Texts From Last Night

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  (213): View more from California

  those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later

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  (213): those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later http://tfl.nu/envj
  Replies (9) Good night (6308) Bad night (709)
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom

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  (410): I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom http://tfl.nu/r4rn
  Replies (67) Good night (825) Bad night (6277)
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  (803): View more from South Carolina

  you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.

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  (803): you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila. http://tfl.nu/o38m
  Replies (36) Good night (1429) Bad night (6430)
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  (806): View more from Texas

  You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.

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  (806): You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito. http://tfl.nu/i4sd
  Replies (19) Good night (6676) Bad night (1149)
• Favorite

  (575): View more from New Mexico

  If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong

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  (575): If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong http://tfl.nu/8y01
  Replies (12) Good night (860) Bad night (5123)
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one

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  (513): you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one http://tfl.nu/cjl0
  Replies (9) Good night (2374) Bad night (938)
• Favorite

  (443): View more from Maryland

  She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.

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  (443): She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk. http://tfl.nu/dqlg
  Replies (6) Good night (2844) Bad night (695)
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  (931): View more from Tennessee

  i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.

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  (931): i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman. http://tfl.nu/vuix
  Replies (11) Good night (1433) Bad night (873)
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  (801): View more from Utah

  First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.

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  (801): First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all. http://tfl.nu/rs17
  Replies (1) Good night (758) Bad night (549)
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.

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  (570): I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended. http://tfl.nu/azds
  Replies (1) Good night (983) Bad night (554)
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  (701): View more from North Dakota

  in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.

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  (701): in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head. http://tfl.nu/rwbn
  Replies (11) Good night (2797) Bad night (626)
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  (256): View more from Alabama

  She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years

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  (256): She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years http://tfl.nu/rsfn
  Replies (4) Good night (482) Bad night (557)
• Favorite

  (519): View more from Ontario

  You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?

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  (519): You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!? http://tfl.nu/kwzr
  Replies (3) Good night (677) Bad night (258)
• Favorite

  (512): View more from Texas

  He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.

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  (512): He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me. http://tfl.nu/p4r4
  Replies (1) Good night (285) Bad night (621)
• Favorite

  (636): View more from Missouri

  Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.

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  (636): Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night. http://tfl.nu/w1c7
  Replies (1) Good night (871) Bad night (173)

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