I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
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I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
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He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.