Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (631): View more from New York

  Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key

  (631): View more from New York

  had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (631): Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key (631): had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now. http://tfl.nu/o06a
  Replies (21) Good night (953) Bad night (895)
• Favorite

  (646): View more from New York

  party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (646): party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record. http://tfl.nu/hgn7
  Replies (2) Good night (3981) Bad night (501)
• Favorite

  (904): View more from Florida

  Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'

  (1-904): View more from Florida

  wtf?

  (904): View more from Florida

  It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (904): Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum' (1-904): wtf? (904): It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend' http://tfl.nu/kgyk
  Replies (14) Good night (4404) Bad night (854)
• Favorite

  (951): View more from California

  better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (951): better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life??? http://tfl.nu/fjyx
  Replies (14) Good night (6049) Bad night (823)
• Favorite

  (207): View more from Maine

  Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (207): Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you. http://tfl.nu/tfuz
  Replies (5) Good night (5258) Bad night (919)
• Favorite

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (203): He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette. http://tfl.nu/g97t
  Replies (26) Good night (1702) Bad night (5000)
• Favorite

  (815): View more from Illinois

  i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (815): i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried http://tfl.nu/ujpo
  Replies (6) Good night (3545) Bad night (983)
• Favorite

  (216): View more from Ohio

  When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (216): When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning. http://tfl.nu/aoha
  Replies (3) Good night (3876) Bad night (903)
• Favorite

  (440): View more from Ohio

  vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (440): vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night? http://tfl.nu/3xi4
  Replies (10) Good night (968) Bad night (2669)
• Favorite

  (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (780): The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height http://tfl.nu/mxot
  Replies (9) Good night (4749) Bad night (972)
• Favorite

  (601): View more from Mississippi

  I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (601): I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable. http://tfl.nu/2hky
  Replies (6) Good night (2242) Bad night (963)
• Favorite

  (501): View more from Arkansas

  gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (501): gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable. http://tfl.nu/22ca
  Replies (21) Good night (4153) Bad night (1160)
• Favorite

  (563): View more from Iowa

  Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (563): Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory. http://tfl.nu/lh6g
  Replies (5) Good night (1455) Bad night (448)
• Favorite

  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (405): That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position http://tfl.nu/yl9k
  Replies (6) Good night (791) Bad night (451)
• Favorite

  (312): View more from Illinois

  We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (312): We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?" http://tfl.nu/n4cr
  Replies (10) Good night (594) Bad night (1020)

Randomize