Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.