she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
These 25 People Believed Fake Facts For Way Too Long
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
23 Adults Confess The Irrational Fears They Had When They Were Kids
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down