Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant

(1-610): View more from Pennsylvania

he should get drunk with us

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(610): walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant (1-610): he should get drunk with us http://tfl.nu/datt

Replies (20) Good night (5399) Bad night (760)
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(585): View more from New York

She's 40ish and I couldn't wake her up with a stick of dynamite. My sheets are going to be covered in glitter lotion and smell like grape vodka and shattered dreams tomorrow.

(585): View more from New York

Aren't divorce parties fun?

(1-585): View more from New York

You and I have very different definitions of fun.

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(585): She's 40ish and I couldn't wake her up with a stick of dynamite. My sheets are going to be covered in glitter lotion and smell like grape vodka and shattered dreams tomorrow. (585): Aren't divorce parties fun? (1-585): You and I have very different definitions of fun. http://tfl.nu/2zlr

Replies (5) Good night (1159) Bad night (2861)
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(865): View more from Tennessee

I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.

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(865): I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it. http://tfl.nu/q5jx

Replies (38) Good night (952) Bad night (13982)
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(978): View more from Massachusetts

you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.

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(978): you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant. http://tfl.nu/88h4

Replies (18) Good night (4381) Bad night (1107)
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(404): View more from Georgia

I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."

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(404): I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard." http://tfl.nu/a58r

Replies (13) Good night (4334) Bad night (703)
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(970): View more from Colorado

Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.

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(970): Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese. http://tfl.nu/mdbn

Replies (10) Good night (7344) Bad night (1080)
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(201): View more from New Jersey

It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car

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(201): It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car http://tfl.nu/2v39

Replies (9) Good night (4382) Bad night (1287)
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(541): View more from Oregon

She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it

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(541): She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it http://tfl.nu/9pgr

Replies (3) Good night (2067) Bad night (1136)
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(559): View more from California

Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.

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(559): Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face. http://tfl.nu/m55d

Replies (14) Good night (3265) Bad night (1637)
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(248): View more from Michigan

I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.

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(248): I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist. http://tfl.nu/83tl

Replies (7) Good night (2843) Bad night (750)
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(587): View more from Alberta

Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap

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(587): Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap http://tfl.nu/qxhg

Replies (10) Good night (3196) Bad night (1032)
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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.

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(724): Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome. http://tfl.nu/u2pl

Replies (5) Good night (1649) Bad night (677)
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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.

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(215): Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit. http://tfl.nu/g1ie

Replies (0) Good night (1007) Bad night (497)
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(303): View more from Colorado

Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.

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(303): Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night. http://tfl.nu/q0n9

Replies (7) Good night (1253) Bad night (590)
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(812): View more from Indiana

I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.

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(812): I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this. http://tfl.nu/4qck

Replies (0) Good night (288) Bad night (214)

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