I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
