found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Define "chronic" masturbator.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Randomize