I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
My hand turned me down
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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