If that was your dad, he is hot
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
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