Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Randomize
