you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
