So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
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