I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize