whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
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