I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
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