Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
True strength comes from lack of pants
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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