i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
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You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
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