Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
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