My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Randomize
