She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
OPIZZABONMYDICK
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
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