Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
