alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
