I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
i think i have two assholes
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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