U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Randomize
