she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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