when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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