What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
