I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
