So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
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