he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Randomize