the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
