I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
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