It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
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I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
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I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
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