I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize