the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
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