margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
