Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(306): View more from Saskatchewan

and on the seventh day, God created megan fox

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(306): and on the seventh day, God created megan fox http://tfl.nu/yceo

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(315): View more from New York

We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"

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(315): We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?" http://tfl.nu/1ge9

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(317): View more from Indiana

cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome

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(317): cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome http://tfl.nu/yrg8

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(304): View more from West Virginia

He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.

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(304): He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too. http://tfl.nu/2www

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(812): View more from Indiana

They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.

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(812): They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban. http://tfl.nu/cwx8

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(949): View more from California

is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??

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(949): is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute?? http://tfl.nu/snv5

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(765): View more from Indiana

just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters

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(765): just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters http://tfl.nu/51nh

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(910): View more from North Carolina

All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...

(910): View more from North Carolina

It's inspiring.

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(910): All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day... (910): It's inspiring. http://tfl.nu/vfb2

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(484): View more from Pennsylvania

They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.

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(484): They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again. http://tfl.nu/d9r7

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(319): View more from Iowa

Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?

(1-319): View more from Iowa

Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.

(319): View more from Iowa

Thanks bro

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(319): Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement? (1-319): Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice. (319): Thanks bro http://tfl.nu/7e10

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(847): View more from Illinois

I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE

(1-847): View more from Illinois

This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.

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(847): I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE (1-847): This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to. http://tfl.nu/xeyh

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(775): View more from Nevada

They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.

(1-775): View more from Nevada

I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.

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(775): They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy. (1-775): I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere. http://tfl.nu/3byv

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(727): View more from Florida

This is John, I met you downtown last night.

(407): View more from Florida

Oh, ok.

(727): View more from Florida

This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night

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(727): This is John, I met you downtown last night. (407): Oh, ok. (727): This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night http://tfl.nu/3jh8

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(248): View more from Michigan

How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?

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(248): How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break? http://tfl.nu/c6en

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(307): View more from Wyoming

I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.

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(307): I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband. http://tfl.nu/qjl3

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