what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
I see more hoeing in ur future
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