There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
