I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
She's the barista slut.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
