Sponge bath it is.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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