Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
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