No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
