Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
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