we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
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