Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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