Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
